youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
