Her vagina should come with caution tape.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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