also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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