Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
