he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
