The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
