The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
where am i from again
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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