I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
