but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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