she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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