he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
