Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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