Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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