i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
