I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
