I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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