we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
