My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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