So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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