How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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