im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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