You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
