You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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