I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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