Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
