3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
