Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
