i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
