my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
