Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
