i just had sex bonerless
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
