Slut skills are useful in every country.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
