doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
