It's Friday. Sex?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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