I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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