Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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