the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
