i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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