i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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