I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
