you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
