It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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