Dual....:-)
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
