Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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