Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
