dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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