He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
People in love make me want to vomit
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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