you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
