I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
