She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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