she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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