He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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