see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
