If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
