last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
