im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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