omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
