We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
