So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
