My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
