I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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