brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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