Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
