He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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