I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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