just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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