Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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